SA Volleyball Recap – Week Two


Volleyball Sunset
The sun is disgusted by your lack of skill!

As we entered our 85th straight day without rain and temperatures hovering around 130 degrees (I’m paraphrasing), your Strategic Americans took to the sand for our second week of volleyballing action. Did we pull off our inaugural volleyball win? Maybe we pulled it on. Maybe we pulled a Courtney Love and drunkenly swore at it after it rebuffed our advances. Pull yourself together and let’s recap!

Players in Attendance:
Jim, Rob “Iron Man,” Mike, Heath, Bianca, Jessie, Kelsey (not Kelcey) and Jessica “The MC Hammer”

Let’s Break This Down:
• In a vast sea of sweaty spikers and English setters, your Strategic Americans were unable to claim our first victory of the season. Our opponents were hippies of a certain age and even though we suffered defeat at their hands, they told us we were attractive. And at the end of the day, all anyone really wants is that kind of proverbial tush patting, right?
• We did a quick headcount and it’s official: more people participate in recreational volleyball at The Sands than watch the Channel 5 news.
• Last night was Jessie’s first night out and she made it worth the wait. Not only did she make it to the Sands after trouble with her own car AND Bianca, her back-up ride, blowing a tire, she proved to be a fierce defensive player. She made a grown man from the other team cry (on the inside). Not bad for a weeknight.
• Rob certainly exhausted himself living up to our expectations last night (as did David Bowie for Julie’s birthday). He contorted his body in ways that will probably require icing (as in the act of putting ice on your body, not what you put on a cake).
• Now I’m hungry.
• My style of volleyball play has proven to be very Grover-esque. Kudos to me for doing alright on the serving last night, but my setting skills are about as reliable as the color printer.
• Now is not the time to hang our heads in shame. Now is the time to keep practicing hard and think good thoughts about whoever Tom Cruise is going to trick into marrying him next. As Maya Angelou says, “This is why the cage dancer sings.”

Match One: SA 9, Other Team 15
Match Two: SA 5, Other Team 15
Game Winner: Other Team

Current Record: 0 for 2

Two Things Overheard at the Game:

“I love a lot of things: saturated color, feeling good, jorts.”
“Sweetheart, I need a lot of napkins–I don’t have my top teeth.”

 


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