As you already know, your Strategic Americans love to take a poll. There’s so much going on in the news right now and we want you to know what we know about it. This blog post has it all: Supreme Court Justices, fashion commentary, some idiot – and that’s all in one question! I could go on and on about how much you’re going to love this, but I don’t want to make it sound like I have to convince you to love it. After all, it’s not a blind date with someone who has a “great” personality and a “private” apartment over their parents “garage.” Without further delay, results ahoy!
2. Explain this Manti Te’o girlfriend hoax to me.
A. He made up the story to garner sympathy votes for the Heisman Trophy.
B. His cousin made up the story to get attention for being something other than a “sexy decoy” for the The Maury Povich Show.
C. Maybe the apostrophe in his last name knows where she is.
3. What did we learn from Jodie Foster’s speech at the Golden Globe Awards?
A. I don’t think she understood the assignment.
B. Her Saturday Night Live reference points are still more current than my mom’s.
C. Mel? Gibson!
D. She hate-watches reality TV.
4. On a scale of one to ten, how disappointed are you in Lance Armstrong?
A. 7: I always knew that moon landing was fake.
B. 2: If it doesn’t happen in America, it doesn’t count. Suck it, Olympics (most of the time)!
C. 5: Mostly because his name is Lance. Who isn’t disappointed by that? Gross.
D. 10: To be fair, I’m pretty sure he’d be disappointed in most of my choices too (I once lost an entire egg roll in a duvet cover, while in my cube at work).
5. Who is playing in the Super Bowl this year?
A. New England Patriots
B. Stanford Lady Sharks
D. Baltimore Ravens
E. Your Mom
F. San Francisco 49ers
6. Which of the following items that are currently in our break room refrigerator has the least business being there?
A. Insulated lunch bags
D. The sample for my 4:00pm doctor’s appointment.
E. Darren from Acounting