Welcome to the last softball recap of the season. As you may have heard, we didn’t win every game this year. You may have also heard the old saying, “I don’t mind if you don’t mind.” And you may have heard the other old saying, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly,” but that one is completely unrelated. Having cleared that up, let’s get up on this. Come for the mildly accurate statistics, stay for the randomly glorious details. I recommend putting this recap on a plate and sopping it up with a biscuit. Go!
Players in attendance!
Antwon, Katie, Lori, Mike, Heath, Kelly, Shelly, Caleb, Kevin and Courtney
Fans and Super-Fans!
Troy, Maguire, Michael, Mr. Scott Lewellen and Martin
Let’s Break This Down.
• Shelly had a pretty amazing running catch in the outfield during the first inning. It looked like she wasn’t going to make it, but then she caught the ball just before it hit the ground. What a lady-stud!
• Kevin was playing third base and leapt into the air to catch a high line-drive that was headed for left field. Stephen Covey would say, “He began with the end in mind.” I would say, “You’re haunting my dreams, Stephen Covey!”
• I was 3 for 3 at the plate last night. I know what you’re thinking and yes, it was a stunning display of machismo. I could beat up some nerds for you if you want, just let me know.
• One inning, we got the same girl out twice. If you just realized that that means they went through their entire batting lineup, you are correct. You should try out for Jeopardy!
• The guy who was playing left field for them was kind of pukey. To put it another way, if he was trying out for a part in the new musical, “Hey, Everybody! I’m Appalling!” he could give one of the moms from Toddlers and Tiaras a run for her money.
Score: SA 2, Other Team 12
That leaves us with a season record of 2 and 12. If we had won just two fewer games, we would have technically had a perfect season. However, that’s a 100% improvement over last year’s record. That puts our ROI at, like, the 90th percentile, right? Like a solitaire team at a nursing home, we aren’t always the flashiest, but we had a (mostly) good time this season. Thanks for the support.
And finally, this week’s edition of Two Things I Overheard At The Game
“It may have been the walk of shame, but at least I was walking. Exercise is important to me.”
“Don’t worry about getting to your point. I am going to live forever.”
See you next season.