I’ve got sad news, friends. This year’s softball season has only one game left (last night would have been the last game of the season, but we had a rained-out game we’ll make up next week). It seems like just yesterday that we were celebrating that first victory of the year and wondering why Stacey stopped drinking beer between innings. If this season was a person, it would be an old man, pulling his pants up too high and complaining about the sex and violence on Wheel of Fortune. Since everyone knows the sex and violence is what makes Wheel of Fortune great, we won’t let that ruin our fond memories. Chug that Metamucil – it’s recap time!
Players in attendance!
Jim, Maria, Dane, Kelly, Mike, Shelly, Kevin, Katie, Antwon, Lori, Heath, Jessica, Sid, Caleb, Rob and Chris
Fans and Super-Fans!
Kasey, Nathan, Michael, Martin, Carpenter, Mindy, Mindy’s boo Darryl, Tyler, Elsa the High-Five Enthusiast, Sara, Kendall, Maguire, Lori’s friend Jerry* and Mr. John Schreurs (who presented the most reasonable explanation I’ve ever heard for leaving any event – “I have to go buy peanut butter and stuff.”)
*Totally made-up name.
Let’s Break This Down.
• We had our first error-free inning last night! Well, I’m pretty sure it was our first error-free inning. I haven’t been keeping detailed records, but I think we should all be comfortable with this statement. We are fancy!
• The other team’s first baseman hit Dane in the center of the back with a softball as he was running to second base. His aim was either really good or really terrible, depending on how shady he is.
• If you ever encounter the umpire we had last night, make sure to think long and hard about where you drop the bat after you hit the ball. If you don’t leave it in the right place, you’ll find yourself on the business end of a hissy fit. TRUTH!
• Chris and Rob were turning plays (I almost typed “tricks” instead of “plays” – it’s not that kind of game!) left and right last night. Maria turned in a commanding performance in the outfield and I hit a double. It was big-time sexy.
• The parking lot was a busy place last night too. Not only did we see an old lady stop by to fill the dumpster with her own trash, a man actually pulled up in a convertible, blaring Sammy Hagar’s “I Can’t Drive 55.” Hand to God, I’m not making that up.
Score: SA 1, Other Team 9
Did you know that the acronym for Fan Appreciation Night is F.A.N.? Let that soak in for a minute. OK, let’s continue. I feel like that’s just begging for a t-shirt (“I went to SA’s fan appreciation night and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and a mild case of drop-arm.”). For those of you who didn’t make it, gross. You should come next week and buy us all beer to try and make up for it.
And finally, this week’s edition of Two Things I Overheard At The Game
“They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. However, the exaggerated and drawn out stutter they say it with indicates otherwise.”
“Is it because she’s trying to fit all her secrets into a carryon bag? I don’t even think they allow secrets on planes anymore.”
Next week’s season-ender is at 7:00pm.