Halloween at SA: Not For Suckers


Today is the big SA Halloween party for our associates and their offspring (you could even bring other people’s offspring if they agree to it – we’re not picky about where these kids come from!). SA associates will be spending some time today getting ready for our young visitors. Normally our offices don’t get a noticeable emotional reaction from children (you will see a weeping adult around from time to time – mostly tears of joy, sometimes tears of confusion and once in a while tears because their outfit looks pretty weird outside of their black light-only home) but we’re working hard to change that today. Every department has been assigned to elicit one of two emotional reactions out of the children: shrieks of joy or cries of terror.

In a nutshell, the Creative Department is looking to scare just a little bit of pee out of the kids and then load them up on sugar. Everyone else wants to show them a merry old time and talk about the benefits of flossing. I know it sounds impossible, but they’re pretty good at making that work. It’s probably something that someone’s mom figured out. Moms! They’re nothing like us, to their credit.

Let’s get ready for the party by taking a walk down SA Halloween Memory Lane (not to be confused with SA Thanksgiving Tragedy Boulevard). Fair warning: I do not remember all of these kids and any facts presented about them are likely untrue.

Halloween 1This is Marilyn’s office – our HR lady. She uses that light coming from inside the cabinet to read through our permanent files. I always assumed those were just a lie made up to intimidate middle school students, but it turns out they actually exist. Also, she did not decorate for Halloween.

Halloween 2

Fifteen minutes after this photo was taken, the children rebelled against their captors/parents, detained them using brute strength that was fed by their sheer disgust for rules and no one has heard from any of them since. The one exception being the girl dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. She now owns and manages a Hot Topic in suburban Kansas City.

Halloween 3

What terrible posture! I think we can all agree that that’s the most frightening thing about this picture. Props to Andy for making sure all of the bodies were hidden before this picture was taken.

Halloween 4

Andy again! I don’t know what that ghost just told him, but it seems to be something he wasn’t interested in hearing. “Those ads all have more changes!” whispered the ghost of Client Services, also known as Pete Iacovazzi. That clown in the background is sneaking up to do something revolting, because that’s all clowns know how to do. Kiss your wallet goodbye, Andy!

Halloween 5

I was going to include the jokes that these kids were telling, but this is a family blog. To their credit, only two of them used cuss words from a language other than English. I’m pretty sure Spider Man is about to get eaten by that lion. Thank goodness we got this picture before he realized what was about to happen. #MutualOfOmahaToddlerKingdom

Halloween 6

This garment is a pretty big investment for office attire. Just think of the added stress when it’s time to use the restroom. It’s like the binders and the men’s pleather gown are having a staring contest while the carpet and wall color are shouting, “Put us out of our misery!” I’m glad to report that Kevin survived. I should say that we all survived since this picture is from our old office. I believe that carpet is now being used to soak up liquids at crime scenes.

Happy Halloween!


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