Adventures in Vintage Advertising


With the unofficial start of summer just days away, I took some time to search the internet and see what kind of vintage summer ads I could find. I was thinking of things from the early 80s that would remind me of being the cheery ball of pudge that I was. As with most slightly vague internet searches, this one took me on a new adventure and I came across the gems that you can see below. They’re not really related to summer, but I still suggest viewing them topless. See you at the pool!

Swift Premium Franks
Swift Premium Franks

Who is this more offensive to? Native Americans or the Hot Dog Lips community? Discuss.

Schlitz
Schlitz

These dudes certainly seem curious, but I would have guessed that it wasn’t in regards to the beer. I bet $20 they’re not wearing pants in that last illustration.

Swift Premium Table-Ready Meats
Swift Premium Table-Ready Meats

I find the term “table-ready meats” highly suspect.

L'Oreal
L’Oreal

Are those five severed heads in your ad or are you just trying to scare the bejesus out of me?

Jockey
Jockey

I find this very aggressive, even for such a mannish woman.

HotTaste
Kool

In case of hot taste, I’m going to switch to booze and pills.

Howard Johnson
Howard Johnson

Have you ever wondered what someone looks like right before they kidnap a child? Now you don’t have to.

Beer
Beer

The checkered cuffs on her culottes are screaming, “sexual predator.” This ad says that beer is, “America’s beverage of moderation.” I think someone forgot to tell America that.

Corn Soya
Corn Soya

I don’t care what kind of cereal you eat, if you’re hanging out pantless with trapeze performers you’re just begging for a social disease.


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