Blog Ideas
Has anyone ever asked you to write a blog? Did you have trouble coming up with an idea to write about? Are you a robot programmed to write blogs? If you are, you don’t need this information. If you aren’t, then I have the cure for your no-blog-idea blues (also available as a salve): SA’s List of 101 Blog Ideas. It’s not exhaustive, but it might be exhausting for anyone with asthma or whose eyes require a great deal of energy for some reason. Print this out and put it in your wallet as a handy reference for the next time someone wants a blog post and you only have minutes to produce it. If you can’t find a printer, find a Millennial. They know everything and will be able to direct you to an app for printing. Happy blogging from your friends at SA!

  1. That time you figured out what Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” was about.
  2. My recipe for Liz Taylor Nachos.
  3. Unintended uses for my hot dog costume.
  4. When Disney stars plan their first “grown up” project.
  5. Travelling in a blimp to Blimpie.
  6. Your mom.
  7. His mom.
  8. Rod Stewart’s mom.
  9. When it is and isn’t appropriate to use the phrase, “Tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya!”
  10. The kind of person who gets married and combines their last name with the last name of their spouse, AKA communists.
  11. That time someone accused me of saying “slut” like I had just learned the word, but didn’t know what it meant.
  12. Whatever most everyone is outraged about on social media today.
  13. How everyone else is outraged that most everyone is not outraged about what they’re outraged about.
  14. Cashews!
  15. If it is appropriate to cancel a date using the excuse, “the Youth Group meeting was rescheduled,” when the real reason is you found out the person you’re dating once dated your nemesis from Arby’s on 86th Street.
  16. The spoken word interlude referencing Titanic in “Oops! I Did It Again,” by Britney Spears.
  17. Waking up next to an empty bottle of Magic Shell.
  18. The kind of woman who has toenail clippers on her keychain.
  19. Surprise pills.
  20. When someone updates you on the status of a project based on the status update you gave them ten minutes ago.
  21. Day-old doughnuts and where you can stick them.
  22. Is “day-old” supposed to be hyphenated?
  23. Falling down the stairs because your pants are loose from the three pounds you (allegedly) lost.
  24. Splitting up the cost of a pizza: Does everyone pay the same amount? Or does everyone’s share depend on how much they ate? Or are you an adult with a job so just give me $5, dammit?
  25. Is the term “gay wad” still an insult?
  26. When I applied to college, I just had to prove that I got good grades and was going to graduate from high school. In She’s All That, Freddie Prinze, Jr. really relied on his extra-curriculars and it caused tension with his dad. Who was right?
  27. That time the TV told me “celebrity hair stylist” was an actual occupation.
  28. Do you remember when I saw Allison Janney at Boston Market?
  29. There is a woman in America named “Coco T” who has the right to vote.
  30. At the end of the day, I’m not here to make friends while talking about reality show confessional clichés.
  31. 10 ways to get someone’s HBO Now password.
  32. Saying, “He’s funny,” in a sad tone.
  33. Who, exactly, is in charge of Mariah Carey’s Instagram page?
  34. Accusing someone of drinking Diet Mt. Dew as an insult.
  35. What happened!?!
  36. Implied sexism in competitive eating.
  37. People who decorate their bathroom for holidays.
  38. I am ashamed that I have an opinion about Justin Bieber.
  39. Not believing in Antarctica.
  40. Why anyone would ever want to eat outdoors.
  41. The kind of person who lives on a houseboat.
  42. Those assholes at Taco Bell.
  43. The Truffle Shuffle is timeless.
  44. What to do when your CD Walkman quits working.
  45. So what’s David Archuleta been up to?
  46. That girl you went to high school with who thinks that “Facebook racist” is different than “racist.”
  47. Naming two people that you know who will admit to watching “American Idol” and the ramifications of such a declaration.
  48. Getting blamed for teaching a toddler curse words.
  49. Comparing the shopping malls we went to when we were young.
  50. Wondering who is just now getting around to buying “21,” the Adele album from 2011.
  51. Scarves of the 1990s.
  52. When you see an acquaintance in public and you try to avoid them, but then realize they’re also trying to avoid you.
  53. Staging your office so you look like a successful and necessary businessperson.
  54. When your teenager is too sick to go to school and you bring them into the office because, sure, we all deserve that.
  55. Things that don’t fit in USB ports.
  56. Regrets you associate with plaids.
  57. It’s not OK to just start talking to people you don’t know.
  58. Was that an Oldsmobile that I just saw drive by?
  59. Saying, “I don’t get out of Des Moines much,” as an excuse for being dumb.
  60. With all the genetic advancements available to us, is it still acceptable to have a ginger baby?
  61. What’s worse: shoes tied too tight or Applebee’s?
  62. When you see someone in a trench coat who doesn’t flash you and it makes you self-conscious.
  63. What is the bigger faux pas: leaving in a huff or leaving on a Huffy?
  64. An open letter to the person who wrote, “Breaking News: Mary-Kate Olsen is married!”: Who told you what “breaking news” is?
  65. When someone tells you, “You look like you work at a bank,” like that’s some form of high praise.
  66. What did you mean when you said, “This white space looks terrible,”?
  67. How drunk is too drunk: Taking a shot every time someone says “thought leadership” in a meeting.
  68. The definitive list of ways you’ve let your mother down.
  69. Are you bragging about yourself or the HyVee Fuel Saver Program (A retrospective.)?
  70. What to do when you see an Omaha Steaks truck pull into your driveway.
  71. Being pretty jazzed that your kid didn’t figure out that Santa Claus isn’t real at a younger age than you did.
  72. Old people who used to be pretty hot.
  73. Feeling smug when your boss gets a pop culture reference wrong and you don’t point it out.
  74. What happens to your marriage when your spouse ranks their favorite meals at Chili’s?
  75. Did that person in Iowa in December just say “I was surprised to wake up to snow”?
  76. I was referred to as a “shoe lover” instead of a “customer” at DSW.
  77. When someone who would obviously lose any popularity contest dismisses everything as, “just a popularity contest.”
  78. Tights aren’t pants.
  79. What’s the right volume at which to sigh when you read a Facebook status update in which your friend suggests their child is smart when you know otherwise?
  80. Zucchini? Again?
  81. People who have chosen “arguing on TV” as a career.
  82. Bouncing back from cameltoe.
  83. Does anyone want this VHS copy of “The Rock”?
  84. I will not accept spicy popcorn as an appetizer.
  85. Did you just say, “These aren’t the toilets you’re looking for”?
  86. Bri Larson works at SA. Brie Larson is an actress in Trainwreck.
  87. Proper etiquette for using your blender at work while people are having a meeting in the same room.
  88. Rolling your eyes at elected officials.
  89. Studies show that if you see someone in an Iowa Hawkeyes shirt, they probably didn’t attend school (there).
  90. How local rappers are keeping it real.
  91. “This wall was built onsite,” and other claims that we all assumed were true anyway.
  92. When it takes a hangover to make you tolerable.
  93. The worlds’ richest men reveal their secret to folding a fitted sheet.
  94. When you shout, “Not on my watch,” when they try to put tomatoes on your sandwich at Panera.
  95. Doing whatever it takes to avoid seeing a picture of yourself from behind.
  96. Determining your worst feature in 31 easy steps.
  97. Oh, I see you got a haircut?
  98. Explaining to someone that the person they assumed was your brother is actually your husband.
  99. All my dreams came true. Now what?
  100. How is a soup different from a chowder?
  101. Suddenly realizing that you know who the Long Island Medium is.