New Year’s Resolutions From People Who Are Already Pretty Great.

New Years Resolution
This picture seemed reasonable for this post.

At Strategic America, we are like most regular Americans (except for when it comes to tooth decay statistics). And, like most regular Americans, we make New Year’s resolutions. We took an informal poll, employing our normal demographic groups/30 Rock reference: Soccer Moms, NASCAR Dads, White Collar pervs, the obese and (new this year) Matthew McConaughey. Read on to find out how your friends at Strategic America will be striving to improve themselves this year. If you take any of our suggestions, we only ask that you take a photo of yourself engaging in said resolution and email it to us to we can send a press release about it. Happy New Year to you all!

Strategic Americans, what are your New Year’s resolutions?

  1. Answer my phone doing my impersonation of Aaron Neville once per day.
  2. Stop knocking on doors before entering – embrace the possibilities!
  3. Start knocking on doors before entering – avoid finding out which coworkers are confused about that splotch near their swimsuit area.
  4. Start taking new chances with manscaping.
  5. Actually ask those questions I have about the geese, the paper towel dispenser and the projector screen in the Strategic Room.
  6. Stretch all of my pants to a size that fits me.
  7. Answer honestly when people ask me how my weekend was instead of responding with lyrics from a Ke$ha song.
  8. Stop remembering lyrics from Ke$ha songs.
  9. Switch from cigarettes to Dexatrim.
  10. Learn the names of my children.
  11. This is stupid.
  12. Maintain my current level of alcohol intake.
  13. Either teach my kid how to play baseball or stop betting on his games.
  14. Rid the world of skinny jeans useless Facebook status updates and commas.
  15. Become a vegan and see if it’s possible to remain unannoying.
  16. Keep my nudes from getting into the wrong hands.
  17. Finish reading the internet.
  18. Too much pepperoni.
  19. Sweatpants!
  20. Continue to tolerate Reba McEntire.
  21. Get the people at Walgreen’s to accept my apologies for the ointment debacle of 2008.
  22. Run to anywhere but Taco John’s.
  23. Stop eating Girl Scout cookies before the crying begins.
  24. Give those leather pants another go.
  25. Figure out who smells like baby powder and ask them to leave.

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