The Best Commercials of 2012, Someone Said

It’s list day at SA!In addition to all of the great stuff that we did at SA this year, we also have a list of what someone called the best commercials of 2012. That person was a writer on and I can’t say I agree with him, but I admire his gutsy choices (because a couple of these are pretty bad like just about any Melanie Griffith movie that isn’t Working Girl). So while I respectfully disagree with some of his choices, a couple of them are gems that I think you’ll want to sit through at least once. It’s the holidays! You have the time.

[youtube yaBNjTtCxd4 Cartier]
At over three and a half minutes long, this is more of a webisode than a commercial. Do you think that all  jewelry cats are actually just real cats, but inside jewelry? If you’re going to think something today, why not that? I would have thought that a jewelry cat would flip out more when it saw a really fake-looking dragon. And what are the leash laws in Paris? The French! They’re always up to something. All this plus bedazzled serpents and a lady who may or may not be an homage to Julie Roberts in Pretty Woman? I guess that explains why they needed over three and a half minutes. I can live with the idea of this being the best ad of March 2012 (home of Spring Break and St. Patrick’s Day), but not the whole year.

[youtube w1sT7QV8nfU Google]
This is sad! Why you gotta be doing that on me, Google? You almost forget that it’s a commercial for a web browser because it’s so well done (not like a steak). I don’t think anyone has ever Googled, “introducing boyfriend to dad.” I think it would have been more realistic if she would have just Googled the boyfriend to find out if he’s ever been arrested for flashing the elderly (or other, less specific crimes against society). But that would have probably taken away from the sentiment of the commercial. I am invested enough in this that I do hope this girl graduates from college. I think I hope she becomes an occupational therapist.

[youtube LsXRj89cWa0 Nike]
Atta boy! I hope that kid runs until he feels like this guy.Even more, I hope someone teaches him not to run down the middle of the road. I wouldn’t want him to get dinged by a Chevy Volt when he’s about to reach his goal weight. I know the ad is supposed to make me think about Nike and go buy their clothes, which I did. However, I also thought about how this was much more pleasant than listening to Jennifer Hudson and Jessica Simpson push Weight Watchers and try to get people on board with being built like a lollipop. “If 60 percent of your body weight is in your head, you’ll be beautiful and tip over easily! No pregnants, please.” Nike commercial: awesome. Weight Watchers (even though they’re not actually included in this list): considerably less awesome.

[youtube x1QSXMyVYuU Sears]
I don’t know. This looks as bad as most actual romantic comedies. Also, not that Sears isn’t the Anne Taylor of department stores, but does Sears even sell clothes like what those two actors were wearing? Maybe they do. I should probably go investigate, but I think I’ll just give them the benefit of the doubt. I wonder who was bringing that refrigerator with them on the flight. They should have checked that! Especially if there were containers of liquid over 4 ounces in it. I hope everyone is OK after that collision with the appliances at the end, but you’ll still never be the Google girl to me! I hope you make a comfortable and satisfying living, but I’m not really invested in how you do it!

[youtube 8TWEgMI7w3o Doritos]
I don’t really want to talk about this one, but it was on the list so I feel compelled to do so. I guess people thought this was funny. I wouldn’t say it wasn’t funny, but I don’t think it’s funny enough to remember it from the Super Bowl and still talk about it now. I mostly wish someone would get that kid to quit being such a mouthy, Dorito hog. If he keeps eating all those Doritos himself, we’re going to see him running down the road out in the country someday, like in that Nike ad. Except we’ll all know that it could have been avoided. I guess that assumes that we’ll all remember these commercials for years and years and that probably isn’t so likely. At least not like that guy is going to remember the football game he’s going to.

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