Contributor Case Study: Kasey

Let’s say your life were a movie (or at the very least a reality show). What’s the title of your movie/show? What’s the theme song?

My show would be called, Keeping it Real with Kasey. It’d be about how I keep it real.

I haven’t nailed down a theme song yet. I’ll probably just contact Boyz II Men and see what they come up with for me. They owe me one.

What were your favorite toys growing up? What are your favorite toys now?

I was pretty big into Play-Doh, both eating it and playing with it. Now I just eat it.

What would you consider the weirdest thing you own? What would I consider the weirdest thing you own?

Me: A Velvis, Velvet Elvis. You: A book on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. You call it weird, I call it smart.

This will show you why copywriters are necessary. Give yourself a tag line.

Friendship can be a real drag. Crap. That’s already been used by Bosom Buddies. How about, The best thing to ever happen to America (after Bosom Buddies). The second best thing to happen to America. Yeah, that sounds about right.

What punctuation mark best expresses your leisure time ambitions?

I’d have to say the period. Exclamation mark-like leisure activities make me want to take a nap.

My grandmother thinks you should spend more time and money on the slacks you wear and your mother thinks you didn’t give that idea of getting a perm a chance. Who’s right?

Grandma knows best.

You realize you forgot to finish something before leaving for the weekend. When Monday comes and it’s late, do you blame the intern or the Creative department? Why?

I think it’s obvious that it’s our fault (the Creative department). Why? Think about it. Remember the last time you told us how busy you were? Did we seem to empathize? No. Do you want to know why?

We don’t even understand the concept of busy. We all wish we could, because you’re the 4th or 5th person to tell us that on any given day. We’re all just sitting back here with our feet on the desk waiting for you to tell us what to do. Whatever it is you need from us always remember, telling us how simple it is magically makes it simple. We just hit the F7 button. I think I’ve disclosed too much. Our secret is out. Forget you read this.

There’s smart and then there’s Kmart smart. Explain what you think the difference is.

A smart person leaves a store with the item they entered the store to purchase. A Kmart smart person puts that item on layaway and eventually realizes they don’t actually need it.


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