Dear Recreational Sports Lovers-
Thursday, August 26 (TODAY) has been designated as SA Fan Appreciation Night at the Sands sporting complex at the corner of 63rd Street and Grand Avenue in Des Moines. The game begins at 8:00pm, but plan on showing up a few minutes early to grab a beer get a good seat.
Q: What does this mean to you?
A: More than can be put into words, but I will do my best. See below.
What SA Fan Appreciation Night Means to You:
1. An opportunity to come out and support your Strategic Americans as they take the field for the 12th game of the season.
2. John Schreurs has confirmed he’ll be in attendance, so you’ll probably get the chance to hear him talk about how great I am.
3. Attendance isn’t mandatory, but I think we can all agree that skipping this is like saying, “I hate when you give me an annual bonus.”
4. Is spending the whole day with you coworkers really enough for you? NO WAY. Here’s your chance to spend a couple more hours with them while you’re sporting casualwear. Can I get a shout out for tank tops?
5. You know who’s not invited to the game? Communists. Staying home is like telling everyone you support communism. Is that really the message you want to send, Vladimir?
I rest my case. Plan on coming out to the ballgame tonight at 8. You won’t regret it!